Welcome to the Toddler's Toolbox!

The Heart We Want:
Desiring God’s direction and involvement; a heart of love and delight and encouragement
(Judges 13:8; I Thessalonians 2:7-8, 11-12).

The Goal We Reach For:
To continuously train our children to fear and love God (Deuteronomy 6:1-9; Ephesians 6:1-4).

The Reason We Seek God in our Parenting:
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts,” says God. (Isaiah 55:9)
Showing posts with label Effective Discipline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Effective Discipline. Show all posts

The Two "D's" of Spanking

Several parents have asked the question "When should I spank my toddler?" Some wise parents once taught us the about the four "D's" for spanking - Disobedience, Deliberate Destruction, Defiance, and Disrespect...For my toddlers, I have simplified these down to two.

Disobedience:
Obedience means that they obey the first time - without delay, without challenge, and without excuse. Any other response gets a spanking. They are allowed to appeal - after they have obeyed - as long as they are respectful and okay with "no." We typically honor appeals when we can (if approached correctly), and in doing so, we open up channels for communication.

Disrespect:
Respect for mom and dad, respect for each other, and respect for the things (i.e. not deliberately destructing) that God has given us are all important. Disrespectful attitudes, haughty eyes, defiance (!), and intentional rebellion are all forms of disrespect. Respect must be modeled by mom and dad; we have learned (the hard way) that kids quickly pick up on (and imitate) disrespect between their parents.

A Resource on Effective Discipline

Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp is an invaluable resource on how to effectively train the hearts of our children through communication and discipline. Tripp advocates spanking as a biblical method of discipline (and certainly one that is specifically mandated by Scripture) for correcting young children. He lays out very clear circumstances in which children should be spanked and suggests many circumstances in which parents must not spank. He makes this type of corporal punishment very deliberate and very loving. He suggests that parents must be fully in control of themselves when they spank and must not be filled with anger. Parents do not punish their children out of anger, embarrassment or retribution, but to teach children that defying authority will bring about consequences. Children must know that God demands obedience to authority and that there are consequences for defiance.

Effective Discipline

This forum is for discussions on effective discipline strategies with our toddlers. How does God discipline us? For what reasons does he discipline us? What is his heart when he disciplines us? What is his goal? How can we model this in our parenting?