Several parents have asked the question "When should I spank my toddler?" Some wise parents once taught us the about the four "D's" for spanking - Disobedience, Deliberate Destruction, Defiance, and Disrespect...For my toddlers, I have simplified these down to two.
Disobedience:
Obedience means that they obey the first time - without delay, without challenge, and without excuse. Any other response gets a spanking. They are allowed to appeal - after they have obeyed - as long as they are respectful and okay with "no." We typically honor appeals when we can (if approached correctly), and in doing so, we open up channels for communication.
Disrespect:
Respect for mom and dad, respect for each other, and respect for the things (i.e. not deliberately destructing) that God has given us are all important. Disrespectful attitudes, haughty eyes, defiance (!), and intentional rebellion are all forms of disrespect. Respect must be modeled by mom and dad; we have learned (the hard way) that kids quickly pick up on (and imitate) disrespect between their parents.
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